Bears Galore

Today was a pretty slow day, but still awesome because duh I’m in Alaska people. I slept in and then did Insanity and obviously it killed me but I need to stay on top of my marathon training as much as I can and I really do not feel like running here! I could get a great workout if I strapped a salmon to my back and ran let me tell you, I’d have a billion bears chasing me! Reminds me of a time we were trying to get a friend off the ski slopes because he kept falling everywhere and we wanted to leave so we got him down the mountain by putting onion rings in our pockets because by then we knew he had to be starving and boom kid didn’t snowboard down the hill, but he sure as hell rolled down because he wanted those onion rings. Random, I know. Anyways, watched “I Love You Man”, great movie, then went down to the fish ladder and took 800 billion pictures of the bears because there were a whole bunch there. I’m either getting dumber or braver, but I told myself to “sac up” and got pretty close to the bears (with the electric fence OFF) and got a ton of cool pictures. Even like senior portrait style- me all natural with bears- not as pretty as all dressed up, but pretty sick backdrop. Well that’s about it, enjoy the bears- I’ll see you then or I’ll see you some other time, magooch (please tell me someone picked up on that).

Little baby caught a fish!

Guilty dog look- "I know I'm not supposed to come up there" No you aren't get away!

Let's shake hands before we bite eachothers faces off

Yum yum.

Somebody just got beat in a fight by a girl...

The 3 Stooges trying to catch a fish

I do not like this big mean boar!!!

Goin for a fish!

Okay I need a cuddlebuddy- you are cute and fuzzy and warm for my cold toes at night and I just want to snuggle up with you but you probably have the worst morning breath of eternity, and I don't think your claws would feel good in my back while we spooned. Oh well... it was a nice thought.

Watching the bears!

Unity College alumni (well, except me I just left) hanging in Kodiak with the bears.

Senior portrait rugged Alaskan woman style.

I'm a bear.

Holy Crap.

My dumb idea to get in the net- unfortunately,
 we do not fit in it.

Whats better than girls, fish, and cool sailboats?

You know when you watch a really jumpy scary movie and your heart is beating at a billion beats a minute? If you've ever watched one with me, you know I jump and scream and look through a tiny crack in my fingers, total baby I know. How about when you are in the woods and its almost dark and you hear trees snapping around you? Not as scary as jumpy movies, but scary nonetheless. Now combine those two- oh hey, that's me right now. So we watched the Lady in Black or whatever the hell with Harry Potter in it. This bitch in black just shows up outta nowhere all the time and screams kills children and has a scary face and I'm afraid and it was the worst movie on earth and horrible and there was no plot and seriously though I'm still having a heart attack about it because, believe it or not, I get spooked like no ones business. So we finish the bitch in black and I have to walk up to the house because my intelligent housemate Scott went back before the scary movie. Aka walking alone already with my heart racing, add in the fact that there are bears everywhere, AND the fact that a big ass bear walked up the hill today and was outside the house and it was scary. Oh the fridge just made a noise and I almost peed myself just now. So I'm wearing a backpack up this hill and the stuff in its clanking and it sounds just like animals to me and I'm freaking out and my hands are shaking so I start clapping cuz well that's what made sense then I start coaxing myself and talking (poor people trying to sleep in this house I'm going into) "Hey Bears and Bitch in Black, I'm coming up the hill, and I REALLY don't want to see you or I'm going to need some Depends sooo please go away". I made it in the house. Phew. I'd rather run a marathon than go through that minute again in all seriousness. Anyways, today Scott Marla and I went fishing for some cohos we each caught one, we didn't stay out too long. I made everyone in the bunkhouse some pasta and venison and then we watched the bitch. Not too eventful, but fun! Btw, I'm pretty sure there is a bear walking on the porch right now. I made it just in time. Oh yeah, there is it's growling. Cool.

I HATE Bottom Fishing

Randys skate, looks like Uncle Bucks pancake

Excuse me for a few minutes, my angry side is about to thrash out. So we go bottom fishing for what feels like the millionth time yesterday because "there are lots of  big halibut here and we are going to catch you one" Bahaha... wronggg!! So there are no halibut in the sea meant for Molly to catch, Randy yes, Molly no. We fish for almost 2 hours... nothing, not even a hit. I hooked quite a few rocks, but (slight diversion) thank you Shaun T from Insanity for increasing my pants size and ass by 2 sizes but managing to give me good glutes muscles to literally squat jump and rip my jig free of every rock in the ocean- 100% success rate. So welcome to my head at around 8PM after fishing since 5 (the quotes are what I actually said): I'm so mad right now I'm going to kill someone.

Scott at least caught a cool looking thing.

I hate fishing I hate fish. These people are trying to trap me on this godforsaken boat forever so I can't go have fun and watch Batman with everyone else. "I'm going to punch a halibut straight in the face if you catch another one Randy" oh look pretty porpoises. You all suck you stupid porpoises, swimming having fun while I'm trapped in this bath toy "I want to punch one of those happy jolly porpoises straight in the mouth" oh wow, something just nibbled my line, too bad the asshole fish is never going to bite. Oh finally, I got a bite "I'm going to punch this fish straight in the face". I pull the fish up its a tiny little shitsville rockfish "wow Molly thats a rare rockfish".

Devilfish. I'm not kidding about being mad.

It's a devilfish is what it is. A little demon coming from the deep to laugh in my face and say "hehe I'm not a halibut you big fat sucker" I hate you stupid little rockfish. So I stomp it out. I mean, it's already dead sooo me smashing its face in with my boot doesn't make a difference in its horrible doom. I took it out of the barren ocean where it lives alone with a big fat ugly skate and some porpoises because as we all know, there are no halibut in the ocean. So I hook up another black rockfish. This guy is a little bigger, but still the devil and I still hate him because he's not a halibut.

My 2 stupid rockfish (thats not a real life smile)

So I beat this one with a metal rod. I'm done fishing, I give up, goodnight. I sit angrily on the boat the rest of the ride in covered with slime from garbage fish that I don't care about because they are not halibut. Thank you beer pong for washing my sorrows away once we got back. It was much needed.

Random Thoughts

This is one of the bears that likes to poke around the house.

So there are plenty of things that make me nervous, normal things. Like closed toilet lids, never know what you're gunna open that to, or creepy old Brazilian men at clubs, or people making a lot of sudden movements on planes, or loud noises in the woods at night. Perfectly understandable, right? Well, I love that Creedence Clearwater Revivial song "Lookin' Out My Backdoor" but let me tell you I'm not lookin at all the happy creatures dancing on the lawn, I'm looking at all the mean grizzly bears trying to eat me out the FRONT door. We open the door last night BAM bear right there. Oh hey buddy, um thanks for the heart attack please go away before I piss my pants thanks. Shouldn't need a pair of huggies to get out the door. Last night I watched two bears get into a small fight but it was pretty badass they were making CRAZY noises (yes Ashley, similar to me when I'm mad, though I did not see the salmon packing their suitcases telling their kids to hurry up and get the hell outta there). It was pretty sweet. So I go to wash my jeans (ahhhh one of my all time favorite pairs...) and the salmon gut smell will NOT come out. I might cry. I took a big whiff of them when they came out of the (second time) wash and BAM stunk like hell. Then, I go to eat some cherries and they TASTE like the nasty fish SMELL! Why is this happening to me? Seriously washing machine, just get the stink outta my good jeans, because I don't want to be bear bait for the rest of this trip. Anyways, that's all I need to go down the hill and there BETTER NOT be a bear out the front door.

A Little Personality, A Whole Lotta Pictures

Early morning canoeing

Having some words... not good ones either.

Okay seriously if just one of you could give me a hug without ripping my face off, that would be great.

Seine net everyone is working on

The gorgeousness surrounding this place... and the cliffs I'd like to see a bear cannonball off.

Babys ready to back mom up if she needs it. Um, look at the claws, woah.

Way you find a whale: listen for a "PSHHHHH" you'll see one everytime.

I love salmon.

Young eagle- mom and dad were making pretty noises (aka planning ways to rip my head off) in the trees.

This is my favorite bear cub around- so cute, fuzzy, and chubby!

This is why I catch so many fish... they are EVERYWHERE!

Fish, check. Fish blood pants, check. Gorgeous view, check.

Killin the Cohos

Elephant bear

 

Gorgeous.

5 down, 5 to go! Go me!

First, let me show you 2, well 3, awesome bears. First bear= pigville to the max. This bear is SO fat!! Biggest I’ve seen so far- weight guess? I’d say 700 pounds. If this cow walked by me, I’d drop dead instantly. Second, mom nursing cub. One of the most beautiful things I’ve seen in my life. You see grizzlies as these vicious killing machines, but watch a mother nurse her cub it’s so nurturing and amazing. Anyways, today I slept until 10:30. Last time I did that? Dunno. Apparently bears were fighting last night and this morning, but also apparently I can sleep through bear battles, crazy Chinese roommate activities, and parties (yes, without getting roofied). So I needed a break from bottom fishing. Not that it wasn’t good times and fun, because it was, but I would rather catch salmon that goopy sea pussy and maybe a cod. So, we went over to the salmon spot. Boom, one coho salmon, in the boat. Boom, 2 coho salmon in the boat. Long story short, boom 10 coho salmon in the boat caught by ME while Scott used the EXACT same gear and could not get a stinkin fish to the boat. These 10 do not count the 2 that snapped my line because they were such beasts. In conclusion, I SLAYED the cohos.  Just filleted and vacuum sealed all of the meat soo uhh, who’s coming for dinner come September? Cuz I’ve got a crapload of delicious fresh Alaskan salmon, free of charge except some company in Little Rhody.

10 Cohos thank you very much! I love salmon.

Finally Caught Glimpse of a Monster

Would you kiss your mother with that mouth?

Okay, so before I get into this post about cool stuff like fishing and such, I need to talk about the weird thoughts that roll through my head as I sit out on the boat in the middle of the water surrounded by beautiful mountains: 1) Wouldn't it be hilarious if I bear went running down this hill and slipped and rolled down the steep part then did a cannonball into the ocean? Ha um note to self, see a psychologist. Then, while watching the beautiful little cute puffins, I start laughing because the little melons try to take off and they kick their legs like kangaroos while flapping their wings and they just look so dysfunctional and stupid that I have to laugh at them. Ha, note to self, see a psychologist. Anyways... today we started with more limnology stuff in the lake (Lake Ruth... okay weirdest thing ever my awesome supervisors name is Ruth THEN one of our commercial boats here is the Natalia, weirdly Ruth's daughter's name...). I managed to not trip, fall out of the canoe, or damage any expensive equipment today... umm gold star! The lake was glass flat and this loon was singing to us and it was just so beautiful and awesome.

Early morning limnology on Lake Ruth

We walked back through the SUPER thick brush aka Molly could get lost very easily in this. I felt like a grizzly bear today because I just kept eating the berries from the bushes the entire walk. Now I just need to start catching salmon with my hands. So we tried some fishing after that, but didn't catch anything. On our way back out to fishing this afternoon, funny thing happened. A bunch of us are standing on this net that is getting repaired while a few more people are standing 20 feet from us. This massive pudgy bear with serious saddlebags (probably 600+ pounds) comes rippin through the area, sees all of us and is clearly like "shittt" in his head (since they have been trained that people will throw either rocks or fireworks at them, both highly unpleasant) so this swine turns to run the other way and sees the few other people, then starts charging the other way and this one guy was standing there and we were all like "WATCH OUT" dude almost got run over by the bear, but the bear got confused again so it basically ran in a circle, which probably threw up after that because its belly was PACKED with food, and ran away. Pretty hilarious.

Fishing crew (minus me) Scott, Rian, and Kyle

So we went out bottom fishing again this afternoon and this girl hooked into a big lingcod, first fish of the day. It got right up to the boat, we got some awesome video, and oh, didn't get the gaff in it in time so it swam back into the ocean deep. Molly:0, Life: 100. BUT thing had some monster teeth! It was pretty slow fishing, except Scott caught a massive pig lingcod weighing in at 47 pounds (AFTER puking yellow goo all over my pants, so I'd go with 48 pounds to be fair)!!

Scott with 47lb lingcod

Thing was a beast (that's the one I'm holding in my pictures!). The other guys we were with caught some black rockfish and some flounder, and me and Rian caught "sea pussy". Apparently, "sea pussy" (note: I did not make this name up, the boys did) is what you catch after being snagged on a rock for a long time. You get unsnagged from the rock, and pull up these giant jelly gooey nastyass white blobs that look like a combination between a jellyfish, human brain, and raw oyster. Disgustinnggg.

Rian with a nice chunk of "sea pussy"

And they slime ALL over you. Anyways, glad Scott caught a nice lingcod or else I'd be eating a big bowl of sea pussy for dinner. Almost as appetizing as hot pockets.We all had some delicious lingcod fish tacos for dinner and I made salmonberry crisp. Boom, done, goodnight.

Molly& piggy