Adventures, Sarcasm, Dead Animals, and A Bunch of Fish: Duck Day Diary

One proud pup- with VERY proud parents too!

2:15am- our alarm goes off. Now, on the East coast it was 6:15, an early time for me to get up, so you can imagine how I felt about that whole thing. I will never understand men fully- like, first shot is at 6:22am- why do I need to be sitting in a swamp at 3:30am? Well, their argument is we need a good spot and all that rah rah but guess what? People just busted in at 5:45am and crowded us anyways sooo why add salt to our wounds by being there 3 hours early and still get sit on? Anyways, whatever. So at 2:15, me nor Keta were really feelin any bit of duck hunting. At 3:15, 4:15, 5:15, 6:15 and 7:15 me nor Keta were feelin any bit of duck hunting. We got to our spot at 3:00am. Granted, we waited by the cars until about 4:15 when we saw other people coming. Now, this means Molly and Keta could have slept until 3:15- boo. Anyways, for anyone who has been reading this- you know my waders are a piece of total shit and I can't even wear them (they belong in a dumpster). And since I'm beyond disgusting poor I cannot afford new ones. So Scott's like "there are like 2 inches of water we will be sitting in so try to wear something that will keep you dry". So this sucks- I had 2 pairs of long johns, my rain pants, and camo hunting pants. I looked like the blob- not a ton of mobility. So this would be okay if the whole marsh only had 2 inches of water, but of course not. 10 steps in a take a dive into waist deep water- real cool. Alaska really has tough terrain- we have not had an easy time doing anything here. Hunting, fishing, etc. Everything is mucky and wet and hard to walk through. If you are not in good physical shape, well hunting and fishing (on your own, not guided) is not for you because it is very strenuous. So we walked through that nasty deep shit until we hit our blind. Now I'm like- guys what the heck? They made like a corral of stumps and sticks in the middle of this marsh- honestly, I don't know a lot about ducks. But if you are putting a friggin fence in the middle of an open marsh hmm the ducks might just say hey, somethin ain't right. So I shut my piehole so the boys wouldn't shoot me (I tend to act like a "know it all" sometimes- I'm sure it's annoying to others) and we got comfy in our nasty ass mud filled shitty 2" water polycheate gross worm pen. People were flooding onto the marsh by 6 and we were totally surrounded by people- awesome. First shot was at 6:22am. There is no way in hell you don't know when 6:22 hits. It sounded like D-day on the marsh- poor ducks flying every which way getting blasted at. Now, this made me sad- like, the poor little buddies don't even get a chance. If I was a duck during duck season, I'd live in a pine tree with a nice owl or squirrel and eat snacks and watch movies- forget this survival of the fittest shit. So long story short, the boys weren't shooting shit. I was wet and had to pee (real convenient when you are in a flat marsh surrounded by a bunch of old dudes), Keta was crying and crying, and the ass wads that surrounded us ya know at 6am were shooting EVERYTHING. Even the dumbass whos calls sounded like a hyena combined with Daffy Duck on helium was shooting ducks. So Keta and I went for a walk (through the horrible deep mud hell) and Scott moved to a different spot. Then out of nowhere- boom, duck down. I guess having the squirmy women leave made the difference. Now, Keta was going nuts. She was so pumped to be off the leash that she was just tearing through the marsh- she had no clue what was going on. Then she stopped in the middle of her craziness and looked at us like "umm, something here smells goood" and there was the duck. Scott shot 1 more teal- which Keta found and proceeded to run around with for 15 minutes (she was pumped) and Scott's friend shot 1 teal- which little missy also found. Without her, we definitely wouldn't have found 2 of the 3 birds so I'd say she was quite successful. And she was so proud of herself it was so awesome. So duck hunting totally sucked until between 8-9am, then it was like, the best. So I will not be waking up at the ass crack of not even dawn to go duck hunting- Keta and I will arrive at 7:30 for our services from now on. Oh and she has been sleeping alllllll day- this is the greatest.