The Battle Between Boneheads and Bears

Normally, I write about cool experiences I have and how they are important, but tonight, I feel the need to just rant. This semester, I have been working on a project about the black bear population in the Northeast and the human attitudes towards this growing population. I had an optimistic view that most people are intelligent and don't complain about stupid occurrences, until I stumbled across this article. Tearing people apart isn't normally what I feel like doing, but this woman is just asking for it.

So, miss "anti-wildlife" living in New Hampshire (great spot for someone who hates animals) starts her article off about how she first had to deal with deer on the roads, then moose, then damn those wild turkeys being reintroduced because now, commuting is becoming a real nightmare. Has she just started driving? Because I'm pretty sure as a driver, I would much rather deal with an occasional turkey pecking across the road (I actually had 36 in my way today, damn things took a whole 30 seconds to move, it was an absolute nightmare) than sitting in MassPike traffic for 3 hours. I'm not sure how many animals this lady has hit, but I wouldn't justify seeing an occasional deer as an absolute nightmare. This woman is busted up about living in New Hampshire, which has apparently become "wildlife central". Duh. What did you expect when you moved into New Hampshire lady? New Hampshire is prime habitat for North American Wildlife. If you don't want to ever see wildlife, move to a city, though pidgeons tend to be quite common there, so who knows. Live in a box for all I care. Anyways, to move along to the actual point I am raging about...

This womans armagedden began when a bear ran into her old garage and broke into her freezer. Since her and her husband were running around like headless chickens, the bear just walked on in and ate the food in the freezer. This woman, so offended by the experience, took a picture to show the absolute damage this bear caused to her freezer. Obviously, this bear wrecked this freezer, no doubt  about that, but here's my question: why is there a tree in the left corner of your picture? I have a freezer in my house, and I'm pretty sure it is enclosed securely in a house, nowhere near trees. And aren't those leaves on the ground? If the bear ransacked your garage, why is your freezer outside? I doubt the bear just threw the freezer over its shoulder and carried it on outside to be in the perfect spot, shaded by a nice tree and rested on a nice patch of leaves. After her unbelievable experience, she called police who were "kind enough to tell her there was nothing they could do for her". Well, what did you expect? Hey aw damn those bears, here get in the cab I'll take you to SEARS we'll get you a whole new freezer. No. Police have much more important things to spend their time and money on than your old busted up outdoor freezer.

This woman lives in what seems like a pretty rural area to me. She lives in a "quiet" neighborhood with bikers and joggers. She then tries to invoke fear by saying that this bear is running "rampant" around the town and its very unnerving. Since when has this bear been "running rampant"? She acts like its been charging through town burning people's houses down and stealing their children. As a runner myself, I'm a lot more scared of a sex offender or rapist then a bear. Maybe I'm the crazy one. Anyways, she then reveals the root of her anger: her daughter was attacked by a very aggressive bear on the swingset, but she got away. So, then how was she attacked? When I picture a bear attack, I picture a full on gore fest, like a great white just grew legs and attacked someone on land. I don't think you're child was attacked if she got away. Maybe the bear walked out of the woods towards the swingset, and you started screaming like a nutcase, ivoking fear in your daughter to become permanently afraid. Maybe it was your reaction, not the bears?

So, she then reveals after her daughter's "attack" that there are open dumpsters for bears to feed from in town, and oh man near that town beach that everyone likes to swim at. All I could picture when I read this was a scene from Charlotte's Web, when Templeton (the rat) is at the county fair, surrounded in delicious food that doesn't belong to him in any means, yet he eats because its there. Should bears not do that? Some blue goose is probably in the woods telling the bear about the dumpster and I bet on its walk over to the dumpster, the bear is sings its own smorgesbord jingle. I would. All I have to say is, this town better not have any fairs. This lady would be real pissed off. I bet she never thought of suggesting bear boards to this place with an open dumpster? Instead she needs to fill the internet with her bad attitude and horror stories.

She then FINALLY looks into preventative methods to surprise bears. All of them are actually good ideas, but why weren't people doing this before? My family lives in bear country. My mom jingles bells during her walks. I sing out loud to my ipod (if any bear hears that, he will run far and fast). If you don't want to spook a bear (the most common way to get attacked), be loud. This lady can quite obviously run her mouth quite a bit, if she just yelled about all her issues, I'm sure bears wouldn't dare go near her.

As she goes on, she gets even more ridiculous. Her friend was "abruptly interrupted" from her phone conversation when a bear walked across her lawn. Did the bear have a marching band playing behind it? Did it look at her on the phone, laugh, and tear the nearest telephone pole straight from the ground an rip all the wires apart? No. The bear just walked across her lawn.

But this abruptly interrupted their conversation. Probably because they both think bears "aren't timid", instead they choose to run around attacking children. A bear stole a pie from this lady's neighbor's porch. What posessed this woman to leave a pie on her porch? Who goes, "hmm, I think I'm going to go put this pie outside on the porch". Not me. Hell, if I saw a free pie chillin on someone's porch (especially blueberry), I might just be tempted to snag it. A bird would peck at it, a raccoon would dip its grimy little fingers in it, but since the bear was so rude to not share, he's the bad guy.  Just because he took a pie. Another bear ripped open someones house (probably a screen door) and ate from someones fridge. According to this woman, bears don't care they will "ransack and destroy your home and attack your children". She seems upset by this. But why should a bear care? If I was a bear and saw a fridge and smelled food I wouldn't think, aw if i wreck this home decor, its going to be a real downer. I might hurt these peoples feelings, and what if they were planning on having this pudding for dessert? Not likely.

Mainly, what I'm trying to get at from this rant is people like this woman need to chill. Sounds like she's seen and dealt with enough bears in her time. Yet, she's not dead, nor is anyone in her family. If she curbed her stupid habits, like leaving freezers outdoors, maybe she wouldn't be such an attractant to bears.
Maybe the bears like messing with her. They sit in the woods, one creeps up behind her kid, she loses her mind, and they all hold their guts and laugh about it. What the perfect person to pull a prank on.

So why should bears have a bad reputation because of people like this? Maybe I just think people are too sensitive sometimes, I don't know. What do you think?